When I have decision to make or am in a situation my prayers sound a little like this, "Lord, if this is not your will for me then please close the door, but if it is please open the door so wide that I know without a doubt that this is you." Sometimes God will close the door, right in my face or open the door gently ushering me through to my next step. Or even sometimes He will leave the door as is giving me the choice, based on what I know of Him and His word, to walk through it or to go a different way. I wish I could say that I ALWAYS follow the Lord's leadings in these matters, that once I get the word that I confidently either walk through or stop knowing that He knows what is best for my life...but I would be lying if acted like I did. Truth is, while it seems outrageous to say that in certain situations in my life that know better than God, my actions tend to speak for themselves.
I have lost many spiritual fingers, a couple of nails and a lot of time trying to pry a door open or even stop a door from closing. In my flawed humanness, I believe that by sticking my foot in the way of the door knob reaching its destination, I can somehow show the Lord that He most likely has failed to see what I see and if I just wait here long enough with my foot jammed in the doorway that His omniscient knowledge will catch up to what I know and He will change His mind. Then there are those times that I continue to knock, no bang on that door all the while believing that He must have forgotten about me on the other side. Not realizing that at that very moment He is doing the very best for me because while a situation might look great in my eyes, He sees the destruction that it will bring and desires to spare me the hurt and whatever else negative ramifications that will come along with it.
Then there is the other answer where the Lord opens the door. You would think that whenever I get those that I tie up my Nike's or slip on my Vans or shimmy into my heels and skip through, smiling and confident. Again, I would love to say that is always my response, but it is not. I carefully walk over to the door and look through it but get a little nervous and go back to my comfy spot on the other side of the room to pray about it some more. "Show me Lord, make it super clear to me." I check out the door again this time coming from the side, pushing my body hard against the wall so that I don't accidentally fall through the open doorway. Again, speed walking back to the other side of the room convincing myself that God hasn't really thought this through because it makes no sense. "Lord, I am going to seek You harder than I have ever sought You before! I am going to fast for forty days so that You can see that I mean business and that I trust you." He can put a sign with my name on it (which He has before), give me a dream (have gotten those too) or continuously place said situation on my heart so heavy that it is all that I can think about. Still doesn't mean I am going to willingly walk through those doors. Usually something happens beyond my control that catapults me through, past my fears, doubts and questions, to get me where He wants me on the other side. Once I am over there, I wish I would have went sooner.
I can't possibly be only one that has reacted this way. When God closes a door it may not be forever, but it is for right now and when God opens a door, He is leading you exactly where He wants you to be even if it doesn't make sense to you now. I have the most peace, the kind of peace that surpasses all of my understanding when no matter how the situation looks to me I purpose in my heart to follow the Lords leading in my life. Nothing can thwart the Lords amazing plans for our lives (Job 42:2), but we can delay them! Stop delaying! Get in, buckle your seat belt and enjoy the ride!
"I know that You can do all things, and that no thought or purpose of Yours can be restrained or thwarted." (Job 42:2 AMP)
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