Sunday, August 12, 2012

How Would You Ever Know?

I woke this morning with expectant hope in my heart.  Excited to get to church, I knew that the Lord had something special to say to me.  We know that even though He is always speaking, sadly we are not always listening.  Sometimes life and the circumstances that it brings clogs our spiritual ears from hearing those sweet, loving words that He so generously desires to speak.   As I set my heart and mind on Him during worship, I was being renewed by the truth of God, who He is and how much He cares about me.  It was then that I heard what He was longing to say to me.  

In the most loving and gentle way that only He can, these questions were posed to my heart.  "How would you ever know that I am your comforter, if you never needed comforting?  How would you ever know that I was your provider, if you were never in need?  How would you know that I am your strength, if you were never weak?  How would you know that I am your joy, if everything was always perfect?  How would you know that I am your peace, if everything around you always remained calm?  How would you know that I am your protector, if you could fight this battle on your own?  How would you know that I am the healer of hearts, if yours never hurt?  How would you know that I am all that you need, unless I am all that you have?" While writing this out tears come to my eyes because even when I feel like I can't see Jesus in my circumstances, He is always there teaching me and allowing me to see the depths of who He is in my life.

Remember the story about Hagar and Sarah in the Bible?  Well, God promised Sarah and Abraham a child and instead of waiting for God's timing they took it into their own hands.  Sarah had her hubby lay with Hagar (her maid), Hagar became pregnant and Sarah became jealous, kicking her out.  When she was alone in the wilderness, probably hopeless and not knowing were to go from there, the Lord appeared to her.  Through that triangle of drama the Lord made Himself known to Hagar and from that day on, she knew Him as 'The God Who Sees' (Genesis 16). 

What I am going through in my life and what you are going through in yours, though may be totally different,  has a purpose and is part of the His masterpiece.  He desires to make Himself known to us in real ways everyday.  Listen for His voice above all and in all.  Know that through Him He will always make a way.  

Beside, how would we ever know that God fills those places that we cannot for ourselves if there were never anything to fill?  




Thursday, April 26, 2012

Neither Hot...or Cold.

Have any of you ever had those times in your walk with the Lord where He uses your current moment or action to make something so super real to you? Well, a couple of months ago I was blessed to have been invited to attend a women's retreat at Murrieta Hot Springs and let's just say that it couldn't have come at a more perfect time.  For you who have had the pleasure of attending, you know that there are a few things in which you tend to look forward to.  Sure the fellowship with your friends is wonderful, all of the workshops and worship are sweet and being excited about what the Lord is going to show you also makes this time set apart with Him extra worth it.  But nothing and I mean nothing excites you more than that pot of coffee that you know that is waiting for you when you wake up on Saturday morning because if you did it right, you probably only had a few hours of sleep! As I made my way to my table in the dining room, it was as if that sparkling silver pot was calling my name.  I filled my cup, put in my creamer and took a big sip. It took all that I could do to not spit that coffee right back out, no joke.  I was totally caught off guard because here I was expecting this nice, piping hot cup o' joe but what I got was coffee that seemed to have been sitting out...for the last few hours.  Now I can do hot coffee and I can do iced coffee, but I despise anything in between. That's when the Lord spoke to my heart, "This is how I feel when you are lukewarm with Me." 


Revelations 3:15&16 says, "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot.  I could wish you were cold or hot.  So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth."  Wow, we can't really sugar coat that, huh?  God desires for us to be active in our relationship with Him.  Now I am not saying that if you are not standing out on the corner with a megaphone at a trolley stop proclaiming the Word of God you are lukewarm in the eyes of our Lord.  What I am saying is that when we are simply skating by in our Christianity it is not pleasing to the Lord.  I don't think that most of us would consider ourselves to be lukewarm Christians, at least out loud, but there are times in each of our lives where we have chosen to "ride the fence",  leaning on the false security that we are saved and that because we aren't really doing anything bad that we are a-okay.  But that is not what the Lord says.   We could go to church on Sundays and forget God throughout the rest of the week and sadly, it is easy to do if we are not daily fighting, daily seeking and daily making it a point to put Him first.


When I heard His voice that morning, I was humbled.  First, because God is worth more and deserves more from me and secondly, that He cares so much about me and our relationship that He planned this real life lesson to allow me to get a small taste of how He feels with us, His children.  Every time I drink a cup of coffee I remember that morning, of how He sweetly spoke to my heart to go before me and protect me against what  my heart is so easily capable of.



Sunday, April 15, 2012

Expectations..

I read a quote the other day that just reached up and slapped me across the face.  Written by Rudy Rasmus, it said, "Expectations are premeditated resentment.” Man, it doesn't get any clearer than that. When are you most disappointed?   Usually it is when you expected something to happen that didn't or something happened that you didn't expect to.  You may go into a situation expecting the end result to be one way and it ends up being the total opposite than what you had planned out in your head.  Maybe someone might have even fallen short of the expectations that you had towards them in a friendship or a relationship.  Unmet expectations lead to disappointment and disappointments lead to resentment. 

When we place our expectations in something or someone other than God, whether we realize it or not, we are setting them and ourselves up for failure. Expectations are unneeded burdens that we were not meant to carry and they are not fair when placed on others. In fact, they will eventually do more damage than they do good.  People are going to let us down, we all fall short.  We will even let ourselves down and situations won't turn out the way we think they should, therefore, our expectations can only be in Christ alone.  

When I really think about it, who can live up to my expectations? To your expectations?  Who are we kidding, we can't even live up to our own expectations... 

By holding on to our own expectations of how things should be, we unknowingly place our all powerful, all knowing God in a box for our lives and our situations.  Instead of allowing Him to blow our minds day-by-day with what He has for us, we are steps ahead of Him, hanging on to our own preconceived notions about our lives and how things should be.  God's ways are not our ways, His timing sure ain't ours and our plans don't look like His, they are always better! We can trust Him to do what is right by us in all circumstances so  just sit back, relax and let Him blow your mind.

Uhhmm, can I get a witness?! 




Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Ten Cows, Three Goats, Five Sheep and a Duck?

Sometimes we use what we have or what we do on a daily basis as a mirror to reflect to us who we are.  Let me rephrase that, more often than not, we base our worth on what we have or do not have, on what we do or do not do...what our lives consist of.  None of us are immune to it, none of us have overcome it to a point where we do not have to check our hearts every now and than. God's Word is true when He reminds us of how much we don't even know our own hearts. In fact, most may not even realize that it is a burden we carry until something beyond our control comes and shakes us up a little.  In the change that God has recently allowed to happen in my life, I found myself questioning my worth.  Really Tamara? Yep, for reals. I found that in my prayers I was starting to ask the Lord what I really had to offer.  I mean, beyond this sparkling personality and smile..(just seeing if you guys were still with me :)) But seriously, broken I came to the Lord questioning my worth.  It's crazy to think how easily we allow the changes and situations in our lives, that our great God has allowed,  to determine how we eventually see ourselves.  Seemingly good or bad, if we are not careful we start to believe it.

A few days ago, the Lord knew I was ready to receive what He had to say to me.  I was sitting on my couch, seeking my God for just about everything and He sweetly spoke these truths in my heart.  In a way that only He can, He said, "By removing your job, I did not remove your self worth.  In fact, I am showing you just how worth it you are. Nothing that you have or do not have defines you, your worth is in Me alone and I needed you to learn that.  When I take things away, it's because you are worth so much more."  I have said it before and I will say it again, the Lord knows exactly what He is doing and what we need to go through to see what He wants us to see about ourselves and about who we are in Him! That's love.

We are all in different seasons in our lives and where ever you are is exactly where the Lord wants you to be.  You may feel that because you are a stay-at-home mom, a single parent, not married, in a tough marriage, divorced, unemployed, just a teacher, just a friend, the leader of a group or not a leader at all that you may not have anything else really to offer.  You may be sick, or struggling, or feel like a failure, or you may not know where you stand in life..(if we are honest with each other this list could really go on and on) but you can not allow these situations or feelings to become intertwined in your worth.  It just doesn't work that way in the Lord's eyes.  God made you worth it when He chose to die in your place.  When He created you from the dust of the ground, when He established your days before He established the foundations of this Earth, He ordained your worth in Him.  Sometimes He just has to allow us to go through some of the toughest situations in life for us to see the real truth about ourselves that He already knows.  

Side Note: As I was fighting the Lord about writing about this (I didn't win), I was sent this devotion from a great ministry called 'Proverbs 31 Ministry'.  I was really blessed by it and God used it to confirm to me that I am on the right track!  Be blessed.

Click here to read it!

Friday, March 2, 2012

A Change In My Direction..

Before you say anything, I know that it has been a while since I last blogged.  It is nothing personal, it has just been a very interesting few weeks for me and though I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to write about it, I just couldn't bring myself to...until now.

It is funny how the Lord works. I can only speak for myself in saying that it usually is never how I think it should happen nor is our timing always one. He has planned out all of my days before there were even any.  He goes before me to make a way when there is none all while preparing me for what He has in store.  So when I was laid off from my job last week, though it was a complete surprise to me, it was not a surprise to Him.  A financial decision was made that left my position obsolete.  Now, because this major decision was not based on me or anything that I had done, it was a lot harder for me to swallow than if it had of been a consequence to my actions. In looking back over the lessons that I have learned and the sweet nuggets given to me by the Lord over these last few months, I can see how He was preparing me for where He was taking me.

The amazing thing in this change of seasons is the peace that I have!  A peace in knowing that the my God fights for me and allows me to be a part of the big picture that He is orchestrating.  A peace in knowing that God will provide all of my needs and that my steps are ordered and directed by Him alone.  Something that only the King of Kings can provide. Last night He spoke to my heart reminding me that my daily peace does not give me an "out" from daily working on my relationship with Him.  Let me try to explain further.  I trust the Lord is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He will do.  I mean, He hasn't let me down yet!  So in my trusting in His ways, faithfulness, provision and knowing that He has something better in store for me,  I have a peace.  That peace He gives me is simply because  He is good and He loves me, nothing more or less. How easy it is though to just feed off of that feeling and forget the rest? The need to continuously fight and seek? Enough for the Lord to check my heart about it so that it doesn't happen! He compared it to a marriage relationship for me to better understand His point. I can have a husband who is a great provider who I trust knowing that he will do what is right towards me because that is just the kind of man that he is.  I can rest and have peace in those facts, but if the other very important aspects of our relationship are not being daily worked on, it will eventually stop working!  So with our relationship with the Lord..

The sad reality is that situations in life are not always fair.  But bigger than that, God is sovereign and in control of every aspect of our lives...every detail.  He promises that if we seek Him with our whole hearts, we will find Him.  Not with part of our hearts, not just on Sundays, not only when people are watching and not just through a feeling, but with our whole hearts.  Wholly & completely!  Though we are caught off guard when unexpected change comes, He is not and He will use those things to grow, teach and move us into the new places that He has prepared for us.  Places that we might not have gone to on our own, changes that we wouldn't have made without His initiating.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I Sometimes Feel Like the Sahara.

There are those days that you feel as if it couldn't get any better.  You are on top of the world, on fire for Jesus and nothing can stand in your way! Your excited and your joy bubbles over faster than you can contain it. Then come those days that you are doing all the same things, all that you know to do yet you feel so, for lack of a better word, dry.  I mean like the Sahara, the hottest, driest desert in the world.  This is exactly how I have been feeling the past few days.

Before I got into my Word this morning, I asked the Lord to forgive me for being so dry.  In my mind, I should be doing more, I should be learning more, experiencing more and any other godly verb that you can think of!  I should be floating on cloud 9 just because!  I should be bouncing around Allied Gardens with a big smile on my face proclaiming the good news for all to hear!  Should, should, should.  More, more, more. Right?  As I expressed my disappointment with myself, God in turn reminded me that those burdens that I am putting on myself are not from Him.  In fact, He reminded me of  two very important things that just seemed to have slipped my mind in all of my perceived dryness.  The first is that I can't base my standing or my relationship with the Lord on simply how I feel.  Feeling will come and go, they have the ability to change every day and I am a woman...enough said.  Secondly, my sufficiency can and will only come from Him, not myself.  No matter what extra burdens I place on myself, no matter what additional tasks I find to do.  I think though sometimes we forget..not on purpose, but in our humanness we just forget.

There are no shortcuts to the cross.  It is the Lord that wills the work to be done and it is then Him who completes the work in us.  Bottom line. It is a willing process of growing, learning, submitting, trusting, waiting, seeking, loving...and though it ain't always easy, it is always worth it!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Greatest Gift...Sometimes We Need a Little Reminder.

The Greatest Gift -1 Corinthians 13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I'm Going To Need A Couple Of Days...

I read a quote a few days ago by C.S. Lewis in which he says,"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." Man, really makes you think! Sadly, I think that at one time or another we forget that we ourselves are wretched sinners saved by God's grace. That our righteousness is as filthy rags, dirty. How did the old timers use to say it?!  You walking around here like your butt don't stink! Oh, those things are easier to see in other people than in ourselves. There are also those times that our heart is at a place to receive and the Lord reminds us of our ways.  He gives us a glimpse of things that we may not have realized before about ourselves, He shows us the true nature of our hearts compared to His. Then we are once again humbled.


God recently used a time of fasting and a good friend to shine the strobe light on something that He has already been making me more aware of about myself. There was a misunderstanding and my feelings were really hurt because of it and after talking about it and them apologizing, they asked, "Are you going to need a couple of days?" My answer, "Yes."  Now, let me fill you in. When it comes to someone that I am really close to, that I really care about I tend to need a couple of days (or at least I thought I did) to get over it and then I can move on.  I giggle as I type this because I know how bad it sounds, but hey..It's my blog and I'm just keeping it real. I couldn't understand why it seemed that these last couple of months I have continuously been on the receiving end of someone else's issues and attitudes, then still have to forgive!  As I was sharing my heart with the Lord, I told Him that I was going to need a couple of days, He told me that I don't get a couple of days. Then He clearly said, "When your married, your not going to get a couple of days." Oh, okay I see.  At first I didn't understand what was going on, but my God knew exactly what He needed to allow so that I could get past this little hurdle and grow to be more like Him everyday.  I love Him for that.

Do past experiences have a lot to do with how we respond and react?  Of course they do, but we have a choice.  A choice to do what is right in the eyes of our King and then to let Him do the rest.  His word is true, He makes ALL things new.

Thank you Jesus!


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Now, That's Love!

The Lord loves to wake me up in the middle of the night.  Some nights I easily rise from my wonderful slumber and others, well not so much.  There are times when He wants me to simply read His word or to just remain still as He speaks something specific to my heart, while other times He desires for me to cry out on behalf of my family and friends or even people that I don't know.  Though occasionally initiated by warfare, most times He uses a gentle stirring of my spirit. It is usually during these sweet times that He speaks to me the most.  When there is nothing else vying for my attention or focus. When my heart is still and ready to receive what He has to say to me.

A couple of nights ago He woke me and reminded me of something that I could never possibly forget.  He told me that He died on the cross for me.  That He was born to die, with me in mind and how His whole purpose was my salvation.  He then reminded me that He fights for me, every day.  That sometimes He allows me to be touched by the warfare by being apart of the battle, but other times He doesn't.  He simply goes before me and fights on my behalf.  As I was laying there just humbled by the truth of this revelation, He continued.  He spoke to my heart saying, "Not only did I die for you and continue to daily fight for you, I pursue you. I seek you out."  Wow, that's love.

He made the ultimate sacrifice for us by dying for our sins, but He didn't stop there.  He fights for us more than we know or sadly sometimes even care realize and if that wasn't enough He still pursues us, relentlessly.  Let's just play make believe for a minute.  If I were God (I am speaking in my flesh now) and I sacrificed my life for your sins and you being aware of that sacrifice still had no desire for me.  You probably would not be fought for or pursed, I'm just saying. Thank God that He does not work that way towards us! His love for us is unconditional and will not be quenched. He truly desires us so much and He will never give up on us. Thank you Lord for never giving up on us.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Being Still.

I read a devotion this morning that God used to confirm to me something He has been speaking to my heart this past week and a half.  Four simple words that sound easy enough to do, yet seem to be the hardest for me to comprehend.  Words that in essence should bring a quiet peace, but sometimes in my reality open up a whole new set of issues.  Four little words:

BE STILL AND KNOW.

I wouldn't label myself as a perfectionist, per say, but more of a planner...a doer if I may.  The Lord tells me to be still, I ask Him how.  He tells me to rest and know, I ask Him what He would like me to do while I am resting and knowing.  In my "being still", I am constantly moving! Instead of allowing these words to bring me to a place of infinite peace in my God, I allow them to create yet another burden that I place on myself as I strive my hardest to rest. The dictionary defines strive as to exert oneself vigorously; to struggle vigorously towards a goal. Which to me actually sounds like the exact opposite of what the Lord is telling me to do.  On the outside, I may look like the perfect spokesperson of rest, but inside my mind is running a million different ways trying to figure it out.  

What I have learned is that there is no formula when it comes to Jesus.  There are not five easy steps that I can learn or an online class that I can take.  The deeper my relationship is with Jesus, the more that I know Him.  The more I know about Him, the more I trust Him and the more that I trust Him, the more I can let go and simply rest in His goodness knowing that He is in sovereign control.  The confidence in truly knowing and believing that your life is securely in His Fatherly hands brings along a peace that transcends everything else and realizing that none of it depends on me makes it even better.

"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”- Psalm 46:10 (NAS)