Commitment-Phobe?

I have no problem committing to things.  Special dates, get togethers with friends, dinners, birthday parties...I'm there!  The calendar in my cell phone is chalked full of events that I without hesitation R.S.V.P'd to, set with alarms to remind me days and sometimes hours before these things go down.  Why wouldn't I make myself available to spend time with friends and the people that I love?  When things or people mean something to you it is easy to commit, sometimes you don't even think twice.  I wish I could say that I am always the same way when it comes to my commitment to the One who should mean the most to me above all else, above everyone else.

Yes, I have a special relationship with God and yes, I have committed my life to Him...but am I 100% committed in all of my ways? Not always.  I was challenged tonight to set aside a certain amount of time to seek Him and His wisdom. To diligently and purposefully set in my heart to pursue Him, beyond my normal quiet time, beyond the ways that I have grown accustom to.  To lay my desires and my time tables completely at His feet, putting everything else on the back burner, forgetting the "how I used to's" & "oh Lord, I think I can take it from here" and just trust.  I was hesitant. I know, I know...it sounds bad doesn't it?  I mean, who gets nervous about making a vow like this to an Almighty God?  We all do at some point in our lives.  We probably do it more times than we would even care to admit. Relinquishing control, resting and waiting on the Lord goes directly against our flesh and though I desire to be the type of Christian who quickly and flawlessly lays it all down at His nail scarred feet never to look back or pick it back up again, it doesn't always play out that way.

"But Lord, what if I give it to You and You never give it back?"  Yup that is a possibility,  but I know that the godly desires that I have in my heart have been given to me by His loving hand.  "Looord! What if something comes up or I miss out on something or..or..or.." I can come up with a thousand of reasons why I can't and not to mention the enemy of my soul that so subtly slides in and helps me come up with new ways to doubt the goodness of my God.  He quietly replies to my heart, "Am I not more important than these? Have I ever let you down before? Don't you remember that your times are in My hand? That nothing can thwart My plans for you? That I have plans for you bigger than you could ever dream of and I established them before you were even thought of?" *SIGH*  Being reminded of His goodness and His faithfulness leave me speechless.  He promises in His Word that if I seek Him with my whole heart I will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13) and that He will always guide me in the way I should go (Isaiah 58:11).  And you know what?  If God says it, I will purpose in my heart and mind to believe it. That settles it. So here goes..



"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths." -Proverbs 3:5&6 (AMP)