Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Damaged Goods.

For a long time, this is exactly how I saw myself.  Just like this box.  A beat up package with strategically placed fragile stickers to protect and taped up in spots to keep from falling apart. Many experiences led me to this unfortunate conclusion, those that I had no control over.  As a little girl, I learned to allow the actions of others towards me to define who I was and how I saw myself, I learned to take the things that were said to me in anger to heart, believing their truth.  I also learned to let the rejection I experienced in my life to go before me and lay out a path to define my self-worth.  The enemy of my soul took every opportunity to create foot holds in my young, vulnerable mind that he hoped would haunt me continuously, causing me to forever be indebted to the lies that only he could spew.  It worked and for a long time, it became normal to me.  I saw myself through the eyes of the  lies.  Defined myself through the shouts of untruths.  Accepted that every rejection, failure, heartache was some how my fault.  If only I had given a little more, if only I had looked a certain way, acted differently...if only.

BUT GOD. (Oh, how I love that...)

God had a bigger plan for me!  He daily fights my lies with the truth of His word, He continuously teaches me who I am in Him while cementing in my heart His unconditional love and devotion to me. He daily shows me the beauty in which I was created, to be used for His glory.  Because of what I have been brought through, I can confidently look at His little girl and proclaim to her that she is loved and that she is worth it to Him. I would not be who I am today, if it weren't for my yesterday.

Hurt comes in many different forms.  Hastily spoken words, broken life long covenants that were meant to be forever, broken promises or even bruises and broken bones.  But what the enemy has intended for evil, our God promises to use it for good! (Rom 8:28)  He loves you! Trust Him with your pain, let Him restore, rebuild and heal.  Most importantly, let Him use it to glorify His name!

2 comments:

  1. Tamara, How His goodness shines through your testimony! Thank you for being willing to hear Him and His Word, and to share your experience.

    I'm reminded of others whose testimonies of restoration have blessed me. Have you read Liz Curtis Higgs? Mary DeMuth? And, your verse and blog title remind me of Francine River's classic book, Redeeming Love! Have you read it?

    Blessings, sister,
    Mary Kay

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  2. Thank you Mary Kay!

    Yes I have read Redeeming Love...twice! I love that book. God is so good!

    Thank you for reading :)

    xoxo

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