Going Back to the Beginning...

During worship the other night a song was played that really pierced my heart.  To the others there, it was  just another awesome song about Jesus and His sacrifice for us, but to me it was so much more because it was a song that I learned when I first came back to the Lord.  I began to get emotional and not for the obvious reasons.  I was emotional because the feelings that I had towards the Lord and our relationship back then are sometimes very different than the feelings that I have towards Him now.

Back then I was so excited!  I was so excited to get to church! So excited to learn, to seek Him, to just sit at His feet expecting nothing in return but to be in His presence. My heart was so soft towards Him and I yearned to hear His voice. I couldn't erase the smile off my face. He gave me butterflies when He showed me that He had heard my deepest, quietest prayers. He pursued my heart and I let Him. Nothing else mattered.  But what happened?

God showed me that a relationship with Him, is the same as a relationship with a person.  Think about it.  In the beginning, it's exciting!  Getting to know the person, sharing your dreams and desires, rearranging what ever you could to spend a little time with them, talking for hours on the phone about anything and everything.  Pursuing them, making sure that person knew just how special they were to you  and doing all that you could...because to you they were worth it. Then what? Life happens.  Most people stop doing what they did in the beginning.  They stop seeking,  stop pursuing, stop putting in the time.  They get comfortable. Then?  They are no longer satisfied with the relationship.  They start searching for something or someone else to give them that feeling that they once had. Looking for other things to complete them. I mean, relationships just sometimes grow cold  right?! Yeah, but only when you let them.

It is said that a relationship is either moving forward or it is moving backwards, never just staying still.  It is the same with the Lord.  When we stop seeking Him with our whole heart, when we stop doing the things that we know to do, the things that we did in the beginning, little areas of our heart start to grow dim.  You don't pray like you should.  You can now easily neglect the sweet quiet time with Him that you initially couldn't live without.  The sad thing is that you sometimes don't realize it until you are smacked with a hard dose of reality...like the song that you learned when you rededicated your heart to the Lord.