I'm Going To Need A Couple Of Days...

I read a quote a few days ago by C.S. Lewis in which he says,"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." Man, really makes you think! Sadly, I think that at one time or another we forget that we ourselves are wretched sinners saved by God's grace. That our righteousness is as filthy rags, dirty. How did the old timers use to say it?!  You walking around here like your butt don't stink! Oh, those things are easier to see in other people than in ourselves. There are also those times that our heart is at a place to receive and the Lord reminds us of our ways.  He gives us a glimpse of things that we may not have realized before about ourselves, He shows us the true nature of our hearts compared to His. Then we are once again humbled.


God recently used a time of fasting and a good friend to shine the strobe light on something that He has already been making me more aware of about myself. There was a misunderstanding and my feelings were really hurt because of it and after talking about it and them apologizing, they asked, "Are you going to need a couple of days?" My answer, "Yes."  Now, let me fill you in. When it comes to someone that I am really close to, that I really care about I tend to need a couple of days (or at least I thought I did) to get over it and then I can move on.  I giggle as I type this because I know how bad it sounds, but hey..It's my blog and I'm just keeping it real. I couldn't understand why it seemed that these last couple of months I have continuously been on the receiving end of someone else's issues and attitudes, then still have to forgive!  As I was sharing my heart with the Lord, I told Him that I was going to need a couple of days, He told me that I don't get a couple of days. Then He clearly said, "When your married, your not going to get a couple of days." Oh, okay I see.  At first I didn't understand what was going on, but my God knew exactly what He needed to allow so that I could get past this little hurdle and grow to be more like Him everyday.  I love Him for that.

Do past experiences have a lot to do with how we respond and react?  Of course they do, but we have a choice.  A choice to do what is right in the eyes of our King and then to let Him do the rest.  His word is true, He makes ALL things new.

Thank you Jesus!

Now, That's Love!

The Lord loves to wake me up in the middle of the night.  Some nights I easily rise from my wonderful slumber and others, well not so much.  There are times when He wants me to simply read His word or to just remain still as He speaks something specific to my heart, while other times He desires for me to cry out on behalf of my family and friends or even people that I don't know.  Though occasionally initiated by warfare, most times He uses a gentle stirring of my spirit. It is usually during these sweet times that He speaks to me the most.  When there is nothing else vying for my attention or focus. When my heart is still and ready to receive what He has to say to me.

A couple of nights ago He woke me and reminded me of something that I could never possibly forget.  He told me that He died on the cross for me.  That He was born to die, with me in mind and how His whole purpose was my salvation.  He then reminded me that He fights for me, every day.  That sometimes He allows me to be touched by the warfare by being apart of the battle, but other times He doesn't.  He simply goes before me and fights on my behalf.  As I was laying there just humbled by the truth of this revelation, He continued.  He spoke to my heart saying, "Not only did I die for you and continue to daily fight for you, I pursue you. I seek you out."  Wow, that's love.

He made the ultimate sacrifice for us by dying for our sins, but He didn't stop there.  He fights for us more than we know or sadly sometimes even care realize and if that wasn't enough He still pursues us, relentlessly.  Let's just play make believe for a minute.  If I were God (I am speaking in my flesh now) and I sacrificed my life for your sins and you being aware of that sacrifice still had no desire for me.  You probably would not be fought for or pursed, I'm just saying. Thank God that He does not work that way towards us! His love for us is unconditional and will not be quenched. He truly desires us so much and He will never give up on us. Thank you Lord for never giving up on us.

Being Still.

I read a devotion this morning that God used to confirm to me something He has been speaking to my heart this past week and a half.  Four simple words that sound easy enough to do, yet seem to be the hardest for me to comprehend.  Words that in essence should bring a quiet peace, but sometimes in my reality open up a whole new set of issues.  Four little words:

BE STILL AND KNOW.

I wouldn't label myself as a perfectionist, per say, but more of a planner...a doer if I may.  The Lord tells me to be still, I ask Him how.  He tells me to rest and know, I ask Him what He would like me to do while I am resting and knowing.  In my "being still", I am constantly moving! Instead of allowing these words to bring me to a place of infinite peace in my God, I allow them to create yet another burden that I place on myself as I strive my hardest to rest. The dictionary defines strive as to exert oneself vigorously; to struggle vigorously towards a goal. Which to me actually sounds like the exact opposite of what the Lord is telling me to do.  On the outside, I may look like the perfect spokesperson of rest, but inside my mind is running a million different ways trying to figure it out.  

What I have learned is that there is no formula when it comes to Jesus.  There are not five easy steps that I can learn or an online class that I can take.  The deeper my relationship is with Jesus, the more that I know Him.  The more I know about Him, the more I trust Him and the more that I trust Him, the more I can let go and simply rest in His goodness knowing that He is in sovereign control.  The confidence in truly knowing and believing that your life is securely in His Fatherly hands brings along a peace that transcends everything else and realizing that none of it depends on me makes it even better.

"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”- Psalm 46:10 (NAS)