Let's Face It, We Are ALL Waiting For Something.

              Wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate
. . . And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine
. . . and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

-Russell Kelfer

"But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

'Cause Sometimes We Need A Reminder...

Blogs are Supposed to be Funny...

...Right? Funny, real AND entertaining! I searched for a funny story, a joke, even a picture that might make you chuckle.  I came up with nothing.  BUT what I do have is exactly what I feel that I need to share.  Go figure!

First, some background just to get you caught up with the story: After the kingdom was taken away from Solomon (because his allowed his wives to turn his heart away from the Lord), the children of Israel rebelled against the house of David and eventually nominated Jeroboam to be their king.  Jeroboam, for fear of Israel turning back to the Lord when they went to sacrifice to Him, came up with a bright idea to make two calves of gold and then told the people, "Here are your gods, O Israel, which brought you out of the land of Egypt!"..and get this.  They went and worshiped them.

Needless to say, I was genuinely disgusted.  Really Lord?  I can't believe how ignorant they had to be, that after they had seen all You did for them to bring them out of bondage, give credit to a calf (1Kings 12).  It's a down right shame if you ask me!  As I ranted and raved, God ever so gently showed me that in fact, I am them.  Uff, que lata.

I mean, I may not gather all of my jewelry and create a cow to bow down to, but in reality, whatever I put before or in place of my God becomes my idol. It really is just as silly to seek satisfaction or fulfillment from something that can never fully satisfy, like the one true God can. The scary thing is that it can be so subtle, even in the guise of great and noble things. Your family, a ministry the Lord has entrusted you with, a relationship, a person, your job, an ambition, a desire...and yes, even your own will.

The most amazing thing in even this?  That no matter what, His love for me is unconditional and unchanging.


"Idolatry is having any false god - any object, idea, philosophy, habit, occupation, sport, or whatever that has one's primary concern and loyalty or that to any degree decreases one's trust in and loyalty to the Lord." -John MacArthur

Going Back to the Beginning...

During worship the other night a song was played that really pierced my heart.  To the others there, it was  just another awesome song about Jesus and His sacrifice for us, but to me it was so much more because it was a song that I learned when I first came back to the Lord.  I began to get emotional and not for the obvious reasons.  I was emotional because the feelings that I had towards the Lord and our relationship back then are sometimes very different than the feelings that I have towards Him now.

Back then I was so excited!  I was so excited to get to church! So excited to learn, to seek Him, to just sit at His feet expecting nothing in return but to be in His presence. My heart was so soft towards Him and I yearned to hear His voice. I couldn't erase the smile off my face. He gave me butterflies when He showed me that He had heard my deepest, quietest prayers. He pursued my heart and I let Him. Nothing else mattered.  But what happened?

God showed me that a relationship with Him, is the same as a relationship with a person.  Think about it.  In the beginning, it's exciting!  Getting to know the person, sharing your dreams and desires, rearranging what ever you could to spend a little time with them, talking for hours on the phone about anything and everything.  Pursuing them, making sure that person knew just how special they were to you  and doing all that you could...because to you they were worth it. Then what? Life happens.  Most people stop doing what they did in the beginning.  They stop seeking,  stop pursuing, stop putting in the time.  They get comfortable. Then?  They are no longer satisfied with the relationship.  They start searching for something or someone else to give them that feeling that they once had. Looking for other things to complete them. I mean, relationships just sometimes grow cold  right?! Yeah, but only when you let them.

It is said that a relationship is either moving forward or it is moving backwards, never just staying still.  It is the same with the Lord.  When we stop seeking Him with our whole heart, when we stop doing the things that we know to do, the things that we did in the beginning, little areas of our heart start to grow dim.  You don't pray like you should.  You can now easily neglect the sweet quiet time with Him that you initially couldn't live without.  The sad thing is that you sometimes don't realize it until you are smacked with a hard dose of reality...like the song that you learned when you rededicated your heart to the Lord.

Oh How Easily I Forget...

Thankfulness & Contentment are like conjoined twins that are unable to survive on their own, they depend on each other to stay alive.  Crazy visual I know, but God knows exactly what I need to understand...

I can't lie, sometimes I think that I can pull one over on God.  Not that I am blatantly trying to "pull the wool over His eyes" but in my mind if I can convince myself and believe that I am content, than surely He, the God of all creation, Who formed me out of nothing, Who sees my heart will see that in fact I am!  Well, the jokes on me! It is impossible to be content without first being thankful.

I had a great conversation with a friend this weekend  just remembering all that the Lord has done in our lives.  All of the situations that seemed impossible at first, all the hurts that He has healed, the times where you look back and cannot figure out for the life of you how you have even made it to where you are now and how you continue to thrive.  I have those.  We all do.  But I forgot.  I forgot where He has brought me out of, how He has always provided everything I need, how He has healed my heart of hurts that at one time I didn't think I could bear.  I forgot how His love for me is unconditional, never being able to deserve it, never receiving what I deserve.  I forgot.  This conversation helped me to remember.  In remembering I can be thankful for His goodness towards me and with thankfulness comes contentment,  knowing and believing that He is for me and He will only give me His best. 

"Now godliness with contentment is great gain." -1 Timothy 6:6

Play the Harlot? Yep. I do that.

So you are probably wondering how I came up with the title of my blog, right?  Well, that part was simple...it's my life verse...

Hosea 2:14-15

¹⁴ “ Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
      Will bring her into the wilderness,
      And speak comfort to her.
¹⁵ I will give her her vineyards from there,
      And the Valley of Achor as a door of
      Hope; She shall sing there,
      As in the days of her youth,
      As in the day when she came up
      From the land of Egypt."

...AND the story of my life.

It speaks of God's patience towards me. I play the harlot with the Lord.  (Not literally y'all, but figuratively).  I sometimes go after my own desires forgetting to put Him first, seeking satisfaction from things that could never fully satisfy.  I do that, more that I am comfortable admitting.  Yet, He doesn't throw His hands up and yell "I QUIT!" because He is over my shenanigans or even crush me like an ant because I just can't seem to figure this whole thing out.  He allures me.

Mmmm, that is just so sweet to me.

He takes me to a place where it is just Him and I, to a wilderness in which my comfort (hope, strength, joy..you name it) can only come from Him.  In that wilderness is where I find His grace, mercy & love. It is where my joy is restored and my heart is most teachable.  My brokenness turns me to Him and away from the trouble that I will get into when left to my own devices.  It keeps me close to His heart.  Though it is not Disneyland, I can honestly say with tear-stained cheeks that it is so worth it to me.

Uh...What Am I Doing Here?!

...I can honestly tell you that I have no idea, but I do know that for awhile now the Lord has been nudging me to start a blog and not about anything in particular but just to share my thoughts.  You know, those sweet things that He shows me or even the not so sweet things...or whatever I want!  Most importantly to share my heart.  At our Monday night Bible study I was convicted.  Yes, that sweet conviction about my lack of obedience in the little things (thanks Loli).  I figured that though I feel like I don't have much to offer with this and most times I don't really have much to say (who am I kidding I love to talk!),  I trust that He has a purpose and a reason for everything!
So here we go!